Categories

A sample text widget

Etiam pulvinar consectetur dolor sed malesuada. Ut convallis euismod dolor nec pretium. Nunc ut tristique massa.

Nam sodales mi vitae dolor ullamcorper et vulputate enim accumsan. Morbi orci magna, tincidunt vitae molestie nec, molestie at mi. Nulla nulla lorem, suscipit in posuere in, interdum non magna.

Sunburn on my head

I just got back from a very short 3 day vacation in the Bahamas. It should have been 4 but a freak snow storm kept me stuck in Toronto an extra day. I went to an all inclusive resort. The weather was crappy but the sun was strong enough to burn my still shaved head […]

The perfect Christmas gift

The perfect Christmas gift

Men, are you having problems finding the perfect Christmas gift this year? Well look no further than here! Click on the link for some of the best douche bags around. Your women will thank you, some men will too.

You are welcome!

[…]

Happy Douche Day

Happy Douche Day

I picked today to be the Douche day of the week. So to celebrate Douche Day I am going to turn off the lights after everytime I use the men’s washroom. That usually works out to 4 times based on my daily BM schedule. It may be a minor anoying task […]

Reality DB

Why would you give Steve Slater his own reality show? What did this douche ever do to deserve his own show? You know who should get their own show? That Urkle guy from Family Matters. What has he been doing lately? I am interested in knowhing and Wiki isn’t giving me the information I am […]

I play for money

Dear Diary,

I started to learn how to play the ukulele last weekend. I can play 5 songs now so I figured that entitles me to go beg for money on the street. I took the day off work to play down on George Street. I made $1.25 and got a coupon for free cover […]

Top 5 Douchebag things of the week

1. A homeless guy asked if I had any spare change and I said yes and walked away. 2. I was at a restaurant for supper and I left a $3.18 tip by personal check. 3. I opened up a bank account to get a free bag of cookies and closed the account the next […]

Bowling Alley Public Urinals

For many years now I have been bowling in a 10 pin league here in town. Like most people, I lived my life thinking that the urinals there there fun and safe. Douche was I ever wrong. There is a deadly combination of urinal with think dark blue urinal cake with a small hole in […]

Douche Tag

Are you looking for a new game to play? No! well who cares. Here is a game that the whole family can play. Walk up to someone. tap them, or flick them in the ear or punch them and shout out “Douche, you’re it!” and run away. You can call ‘no douche back’, ‘no douche-returns’, […]

Be careful where you mine

So I am just standing there holding my junk when I noticed a slight tingle in my right nostril. I tried to ignore it at first by flaring my nose, swirling it around and sucking in with my mouth shut. As hard as I tried to make it go away or go back to a […]

April is here. No s#!T

Anyone else finding this year going by really fast? It is April already. Only 988 more days until the start of the end of the world in 2012. Is anyone else preparing for this or is it just me? I build a shelter in my basement. I have about 90 cans of chick peas and […]