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Welcome to 2012

So as the countdown for the end of the world continues I am sitting here at work thinking of places to go on vacation next year. I figure that things will be really cheap if the world is destroyed thus also destroying all the world’s economies at the same time so tourism will play a […]

Sunburn on my head

I just got back from a very short 3 day vacation in the Bahamas. It should have been 4 but a freak snow storm kept me stuck in Toronto an extra day. I went to an all inclusive resort. The weather was crappy but the sun was strong enough to burn my still shaved head […]

Hello Mr. Ed

Today I started calling people by made up old TV show names. Mostly it was at random. Some fit the description like when I called Mark “Mr. Ed” cause he kind of looks like a horse, and others do not like when I called Jessica “Mr. Ed”. I can’t say that I was the most […]

Douchebag explained

Happy Douche Day

Happy Douche Day

I picked today to be the Douche day of the week. So to celebrate Douche Day I am going to turn off the lights after everytime I use the men’s washroom. That usually works out to 4 times based on my daily BM schedule. It may be a minor anoying task […]

Bored at work

Dear Douchery,

I am bored at work today so to make the day go faster I created a new game. Every time a manager says something stupid I ask him to repeat that him/her said but in words that I can understand. In most cases the “dumbed down” explanation is totally different than the first, […]

DOAD – Quickie

A girl asked me on the bus the other day “Can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” I said no and switched seats.

When is a sink only a sink?

Why is it that if I go to a public washroom and all the stalls and urinals are used up that is it frowned upon to take a leak in the sink. The sink is cleaner than the toilets. This is unfair and I do not think that I should be asked to leave the […]

Reality DB

Why would you give Steve Slater his own reality show? What did this douche ever do to deserve his own show? You know who should get their own show? That Urkle guy from Family Matters. What has he been doing lately? I am interested in knowhing and Wiki isn’t giving me the information I am […]

I play for money

Dear Diary,

I started to learn how to play the ukulele last weekend. I can play 5 songs now so I figured that entitles me to go beg for money on the street. I took the day off work to play down on George Street. I made $1.25 and got a coupon for free cover […]