Are you looking for a new game to play? No! well who cares. Here is a game that the whole family can play. Walk up to someone. tap them, or flick them in the ear or punch them and shout out “Douche, you’re it!” and run away. You can call ‘no douche back’, ‘no douche-returns’, or ‘can’t douche your master’ rule prevents a player from tagging the person who has just tagged them. If someone is not willing to play the game or do not understand you can punch them again to get the douche tag back and continue the game with another player(s). Oh what good fun this game is. These are the times you will remember forever.
Enjoy it.
DB
So I am just standing there holding my junk when I noticed a slight tingle in my right nostril. I tried to ignore it at first by flaring my nose, swirling it around and sucking in with my mouth shut. As hard as I tried to make it go away or go back to a comfortable state I was unable to achieve the goal. I new it has to come out one way or another.
The washroom was empty, no one in the stalls or at the urinal next to me so I decided to go for it. I was gentle at first, careful not to put too hard in fears of pushing it back out of reach or into the side cutting the skin like it easily can do and leaving me with a bit of blood to deal with after. I was getting a bit of satisfaction as I knew I was on the right track and the green little problem was about to come out. All of a sudden I was cut short as the washroom door swung open and in walks a random gentleman eager for a bio break.
I immediately withdraw my finger as this guy stands next to me. I think to myself. Why is he not following the bathroom rules. You do not stand next to a guy at a urinal with there are stalls free. He is totally invading my personal space. But that turned out to be the least of my worried. The guy looks over and me as greets me with a standard Newfoundland saying? “Wadda ya at?” which I quickly replay “Just hanging out”. We both stare at the wall in front of us. The next thing I notice is him looking over at me. At first I thought it was just trying to get a glimpse or my manhood. Then I realize he wasn’t looking down, he was looking straight over at my nose. What could he be staring at? He makes a low grunt noise. Shakes it off, zips up and leaves the washroom while I am still in mid stream. “How disgusting!” he totally never washed his hands.
As I finish up I turn on the taps, later up, and then look straight ahead into the mirror. in my attempts and not getting caught red handed, or in this case green handed, I must have hooked enough of Mr. booger to yank it just outside or the nostril. There in all its glory was a large yellowish green snot chunk for the entire world to see. This was defiantly an embarrassing moment for me that day. I quickly removed it with some TP from a nearby stall, washed up again and left the washroom to go back to work.
As sick as that moment may have been, I know one thing for certain. If I ever see that guy again, I am going to tell him to “Wash your hands you dirty b@$T^rd”.
Click on the link below.
F U Flowers
The Junos screwed me over again. Or the Germans would have us believe. I had an art show over the weekend. I had 5 of 200+ pieces in the show. 6 hours of waiting around and only 4-5 pieces in total sold. The organizers blamed it on the Junos. My thought was the Hotel is full of people, people with money. So why are they not buying any artwork? The Junos brought 10-20 million dollars in revenue over the last week and no one wanted to buy any art. FAIL!
Oh well. I just needed to Vent. Thx for almost caring douchebags.
I went to Telus yesterday to help pick out a bluetooth ear piece for a blackberry. The sales guy had 3 to pick from. You would think he would be familiar with the products that he sales and being only 3 different models, one would think it would be an easy task.. Having said that, the smartest thing that came from this kids mouth was, well it is the newest so it is pretty much the best one we have. I wanted to clap three times for this guy. There was this other lady there looking for a phone that works in the States because she was going on a trip and wanted to let the entire store know that. Like going 3 hours from home is some big adventure. After 20 minutes of listening to her talk about how important she is and how she wished she was already back home made me realize that you can take the girl from the bay, but you can’t take the bay from the girl…
Lame story short, I bought a bluedouche ear piece for a doucheberry phone because it is the newest one they had so “it pretty much has to be the best”.
Bluetooth was a dead technology and brought back to life. Douchebags around the world rejoice.
Bluedouche
Mam, you are a tool...
I thought this was a funny name tag. It is not quite Timmy but it will do for now.
Douchebag, or simply douche, is considered to be a pejorative term. The slang usage of the term dates back to the 1960s. The term refers to a person with a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions without malicious intent.
Does anyone remember this game? Make a circle with your hand and put it below your waist. When someone looks directly at it you get to punch them in the arm. Oh the good old days! Go forth nerd-lings and bring this game back. The world will thank you.
I had computer parts to make my kickass new computer delivered to my house yesterday. When I was at work UPS just left them on my front step without me having to sign for it. When I got home there was no package to be found. This really ticks me off. Did UPS think this is a happy shiny world where people can just leave large packages on door steps and expect it to still be there hours later? As Joe put it, “Sunvuabith”.
The world is a douche and it is always out to get me. I must go now and do my part to piss the rest of the world off until I feel satisfied for my loss.
Suck it UPS. Suck it world
Anyone else finding this year going by really fast? It is April already. Only 988 more days until the start of the end of the world in 2012. Is anyone else preparing for this or is it just me? I build a shelter in my basement. I have about 90 cans of chick peas and about 40 boxes of Peanut Butter Crunchy Granola Bars saved up so far so I am well on my way.
Easter was great this year. I was forced to go to some lame party for a friend of a friend’s kid. The only good thing about it was the free food. However there wasn’t any sandwiches so I was pretty ticked off about that. There was only one hot girl there but she was too stuck up to talk to me.
Does anyone still care about Tiger woods these days? Leave your comments below.
Later jerks.
