Comments for Diary of a Douchebag

Comment on QOTD: Long weekend by Pender

Pender — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:27:12 +0000

Is “actives” the douche way of saying “activities”? I think my retarded aunt calls them actives, and for “people” she calls them “peeps”. You should do that too.

Flying to victoria bc for a shaggin’ good week.

Comment on Movies where people start dancing for no good reason by Pender

Pender — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:29:19 +0000

Random dancing, situationally, love it, otherwise when I don’t like it, hate it.

Comment on QOTD: Why Pink? by Pender

Pender — Mon, 31 May 2010 19:43:37 +0000

If it were blue then it would remind you of menstrual pad commercials.

Comment on Douche Tag by Pender

Pender — Wed, 26 May 2010 18:00:26 +0000

Douché.

Comment on Blue douche by Pender

Pender — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 14:40:24 +0000

I like the gratuitous use of “douche” the most.

I think the coolest thing you can do when waiting for your luggage to come off the conveyer belt after going on a plane trip is to put your foot on the corner of the conveyer belt and talk really loudly on your cellular douchephone. You need to make awesome, overly loud, statements like “we should have a celebratory… uh… party.. when I get back” and have your crotch hovering over everyone’s bags. Nobody will get in your way, to grab their precious luggage, and everyone will know how awesome you are to have friends that like to go out for celebratory… uh.. parties.

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Comment on Like Punch? by Pender

Pender — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 17:31:46 +0000

ARGH! FU, you got me again!

Blinded by the light,
Revved up like a douche
another mother in the night!

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Comment on I R the King at Borderlands by Pender

Pender — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:06:03 +0000

I like PS3 the best, I deemed it the only one worth buying. However borderlands is bestest on the puter, cause mouse+keyboard means unlimited turn-rate, whereas console controller is limited and therefore inferior.

What level are you in borderlands? I’m level 30. I bet you aren’t 30, cause you’re blinded by the light, revved up like a douche another runner in the night.

Comment on Hate the Game, don’t hate the player. by Pender

Pender — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:56:40 +0000

As an animal lover I can tell you, if you ever even think about hurting an animal I’ll rip your fucking arm off and ram it up your ass. I’ll tie a rope around your dick and drag you down a slip-n-slide covered in razorblades. I’ll light your eyebrows on fire and make you pick your nose with your big toe and eat it.

Just joshin’ with ya! Animal lovers can be psycho. Based on my own observations I predict that 95% of them believe in ghosts and other things that aren’t scientifically certifiable, but yet they feel VERY passionate about this crap anyhow! They mostly use the “retard” part of their brains.

Comment on Help for Haiti by Pender

Pender — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:03:25 +0000

Why not just give them a billion dollars each? That would tide them over for much longer so we don’t have to bother giving them money for a really long time. Unless they waste it all on cocaine like McHammer. In which case I would have no sympathy for them if they spent it all and wouldn’t care if they starved to death.

Comment on Going on Vacation by Pender

Pender — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:59:05 +0000

What the hell is that? Is Xavier Roberts making a new line of Tomato Head Kids dolls with a faint resemblance of a human? Someone check his left buttock for the signature!