I recently joined a weight loss challenge at work. Everyone is on some type of diet that ranges from no carbs, low fat, counting calories, etc. After my first week I am down 7.5 lbs. People keep asking me what my diet plan is. Up to this point I just made fun of everyone else on the program and told them I starve myself or eat and throw up. but really I created my own diet and I will share my secret with you today.
1. Make a list of the foods you can and can not eat while on the diet and try to stick to it.
2. Make as much of the food as you can and try and not eat out. (You know what I mean)
3. Cut out the junk food
4. Do not eat late at night
5. Drink lots of water and green tea
6. Reduce the amount of sugar in your diet
Seems pretty simple hey? Well as long as you can put up with being hungry or having headaches for the first couple of weeks then you should be ok. As for Fat and carbs, they really mean nothing to me. I can eat stuff with fat cause your body needs fat. It is really the sugar that controls your weight (speak to a medical professional cause I may be wrong and I am not taking any responsibility for anyone that listens to me, EVER!!!)
The final things on the Douchebag diet to really lose weight. Find something that makes you sick and eat it. Let your body naturally get rid of the food that is in your body. (Once again, never listen to a thing I say)
Things that make me sick:
Wheat and Gluten, Dairy products, Yeast, Greasy foods, eating late at at night, a bunch of chemicals, and fake salty meats.
And that is how I lost 7.5 lbs in one week.
Let the games begin
- Douchebag
…but miss a couple payment and they made me feel poorer than what I know I am.
I went away on vacation for 2 months and during that time I was sent to a collection agency.
I have been a customer of Scotia bank since i was like 15.
In monthly basic service fees alone I paid out over $2000.
But because I missed a couple payments I lost my Loc, and my basic life insurance,
I lost my automatic withdraw and now after i deposit a check I have to wait 6 business days
for it to clear.
When I called the bank to try and resolve my issues they informed me that they tried to call me. I said, “Do you mean when you call me almost daily to try and sign me up for a credit card?” When I know it is Scotia Bank I will not answer the phone because all you do is try and sell me something. I tell them I am not interested but they just keep calling. But then it is important as something like missed payments, will they leave a voice mail to tell you the account is a little behind? no.. they do not. After cancelling my free life insurance they did call me back to tell me that I can sign up for a new life insurance policy (pay of course).
Today I went to my company and gave them the new PC fincial free account information,
called my mortgage and insurance company and gave them the new info.
so now I need everything to sync up by Friday and I will be going back to Scotia with a GFY letter
and I will be cancelling my accounts with them.
Thank for the years of Service.
- Douchebag
This weekend I was doing big boy stuff in my new house. Changing light bulbs, putting together the new king size bed I just got. Playing Borderlands on the PS3 with my new Bluetooth headset while drinking energy drinks to keep the party going while all night long. Do any of you douchebags out there play Borderlands?
Question of the day. Do you like PS3, Xbox 360 or Nintendo Wii better?
Later jerks
I R the King
I think it is funny how people would rather harm a person who supports a legal industry such as the seal hunt than the animals that are used for food, clothes, medical products and more.
If you agree of disagree with something, you have every right to voice your opinion about the topic, but you don’t need to hurt people to do it.
Over the last few days I have been thinking about the Haiti situation. I am all for helping them out but I might be the only one looking at this from a different angle. So far various organizations have raised million for the Haiti victims and to rebuild. Canada alone is going to match up to 50 million dollars in donations. With my plan, after the emergency situations are over, do not rebuild. Take the money and give each Hatchan 2-3 million dollars each and tell them to move anywhere else in the world. It would end up costing billions less to give everyone money to go live like a king the rest of their lives then it is to rebuild the damaged country and to start over with nothing. To me it just makes more sense.
What are your thoughts on this?
It is my last night in Equador. 25 days of doing what I want, Eating like a king, and checking out the local um.. customs…
Going back home will be good but I like getting a full meal for $1.50, taking a 30 minute cab ride for $5 or taking a 4 hour bus ride to another part of the counrty for $3. Internet is like 50 cents an hour and drinks are 3 for $5 or less.
I like how I can talk down a $5 hat to $1 at the markets but not a fan of palying 10 cents to use the bathroom, 15 if I want Toilet paper.
Equador is very different then home. There are many douchrances from here and home, but overall it had been a great experience.
Later DBs
I found an internet cafe so I figured I would post something. Prices here are a fraction of what they are at home. You can pay anyone $10 to do just about anything. I can order two meals and throw one of them on the ground next to a homeless person, laugh and walk away. Not sure about the VDs here. I might have to be careful about that.
Anyways, I have stuff to do. later DBs
Hey everyone. I am going on Vacation tomorrow and I just wanted to let you all know that I won’t be posting until I get back on Jan 11th. So for now, check out my old posts, email me if you are bored and keep rocking the crackberry and drinking red bull.
Peace out DBs
Douchebag of the day
My BFF just told me that Christmas is 2 weeks away. Since I am going to be on Vacation and out of the country I don’t really care about it this year. However, I am sad about missing my company Christmas Party. I love Christmas parties about as much as Tiger Woods loves skank whores. But then again, don’t we all?
So my friend hates going to the mall and shopping at this time of year. The malls are crowded and it takes you an hour just to find a parking spot. I managed to solve this by going to Dominion and buying all gift cards from the gift card rack. It took me 5 minutes to shop for everyone in my family. I am a genius. Just having written that I spelled Genius wrong and I had to spell check it. So I guess I am a genius that can’t spell 
Douche-self-burn.
I was in Copenhagen a few months back so it is cool that everyone is there now for the global farce conventions. I would like to go back for longer then 5 hours. Downfall of a cruise. You get to see a lot but only for a short time.
Not sure how i feel about Obama winning the nobel peace prize but you gotta give it to someone it might as well be someone that is currently in charge of two wars. +1 for irony.
It is almost lunch time and I need to go buy new shoes for my gfs work party tonight. AND I AM HUNGRY.
Later internet DBs.
