I just had to go to the mall and look for nut meds. I have no idea what they are called. “I want meds for my nuts, Nut meds!. Where can I find it please?” The cashier at lawton’s directed me to the Pain Relievers. $2.99 for 24 Ibuprofen or for 20 cents more I can get 50. No brainer there. I left with my purchase happy as a clam. To end this stupid story sooner rather than later, the Ibuprofen didn’t work very well. My right nut still huts. The End.
I hope you have a better day than what I am having. L8rz
What DB actives are you doing for the long weekend?
For many years now I have been bowling in a 10 pin league here in town. Like most people, I lived my life thinking that the urinals there there fun and safe. Douche was I ever wrong. There is a deadly combination of urinal with think dark blue urinal cake with a small hole in the middle that I had no idea existed. Like normal I was just hanging out trying to hit the target when all of a sudden a nice steam hits the mark perfectly and then turns around and comes back out like a fountain. Urine went everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, on my shoes, and on my shirt. What a douche! I was covered and I only had minutes to clean myself up before It was my turn to bowl again. There is just so much urine a guy can clean up before he comes to the realization that it just isn’t going away. I manned up and went back to bowling. Turns out I actually bowled the greatest night out of anyone in the summer league. Was it due to the awesome power of the urine? We may never know.
To all you bowlers out there… Watch out for the urinal cake with the small hole in the middle and remember, it is better to get pissed off than to pissed on.
There has been a number of movies in the past couple of years that turned a watchable movie into a “WTF” moment for many people. I watched the movie “Gamer” over the weekend. It was decent but then towards the end there was a dancing scene. I get the point of it, they were being controlled but dude, WTF? Why would you have to put that in the movie. I would really like to hear the decision behind that one. “Well my director, we have a pretty good violent movie here but we at the studio feel that the movie could use a dancing scene so that we can market this film to a larger audience”. Thank you Mark and Brian. Great call on that one.
Let’s not forgot the Peter Parker dancing scene in Spider-Man 3. I will save that gem for another day. Let me know what you think. Random dance sequence in movies, love it or hate it?
Gamer
What is the point of pink urinal cakes?
Are you looking for a new game to play? No! well who cares. Here is a game that the whole family can play. Walk up to someone. tap them, or flick them in the ear or punch them and shout out “Douche, you’re it!” and run away. You can call ‘no douche back’, ‘no douche-returns’, or ‘can’t douche your master’ rule prevents a player from tagging the person who has just tagged them. If someone is not willing to play the game or do not understand you can punch them again to get the douche tag back and continue the game with another player(s). Oh what good fun this game is. These are the times you will remember forever.
Enjoy it.
DB
So I am just standing there holding my junk when I noticed a slight tingle in my right nostril. I tried to ignore it at first by flaring my nose, swirling it around and sucking in with my mouth shut. As hard as I tried to make it go away or go back to a comfortable state I was unable to achieve the goal. I new it has to come out one way or another.
The washroom was empty, no one in the stalls or at the urinal next to me so I decided to go for it. I was gentle at first, careful not to put too hard in fears of pushing it back out of reach or into the side cutting the skin like it easily can do and leaving me with a bit of blood to deal with after. I was getting a bit of satisfaction as I knew I was on the right track and the green little problem was about to come out. All of a sudden I was cut short as the washroom door swung open and in walks a random gentleman eager for a bio break.
I immediately withdraw my finger as this guy stands next to me. I think to myself. Why is he not following the bathroom rules. You do not stand next to a guy at a urinal with there are stalls free. He is totally invading my personal space. But that turned out to be the least of my worried. The guy looks over and me as greets me with a standard Newfoundland saying? “Wadda ya at?” which I quickly replay “Just hanging out”. We both stare at the wall in front of us. The next thing I notice is him looking over at me. At first I thought it was just trying to get a glimpse or my manhood. Then I realize he wasn’t looking down, he was looking straight over at my nose. What could he be staring at? He makes a low grunt noise. Shakes it off, zips up and leaves the washroom while I am still in mid stream. “How disgusting!” he totally never washed his hands.
As I finish up I turn on the taps, later up, and then look straight ahead into the mirror. in my attempts and not getting caught red handed, or in this case green handed, I must have hooked enough of Mr. booger to yank it just outside or the nostril. There in all its glory was a large yellowish green snot chunk for the entire world to see. This was defiantly an embarrassing moment for me that day. I quickly removed it with some TP from a nearby stall, washed up again and left the washroom to go back to work.
As sick as that moment may have been, I know one thing for certain. If I ever see that guy again, I am going to tell him to “Wash your hands you dirty b@$T^rd”.
Click on the link below.
F U Flowers
The Junos screwed me over again. Or the Germans would have us believe. I had an art show over the weekend. I had 5 of 200+ pieces in the show. 6 hours of waiting around and only 4-5 pieces in total sold. The organizers blamed it on the Junos. My thought was the Hotel is full of people, people with money. So why are they not buying any artwork? The Junos brought 10-20 million dollars in revenue over the last week and no one wanted to buy any art. FAIL!
Oh well. I just needed to Vent. Thx for almost caring douchebags.
I went to Telus yesterday to help pick out a bluetooth ear piece for a blackberry. The sales guy had 3 to pick from. You would think he would be familiar with the products that he sales and being only 3 different models, one would think it would be an easy task.. Having said that, the smartest thing that came from this kids mouth was, well it is the newest so it is pretty much the best one we have. I wanted to clap three times for this guy. There was this other lady there looking for a phone that works in the States because she was going on a trip and wanted to let the entire store know that. Like going 3 hours from home is some big adventure. After 20 minutes of listening to her talk about how important she is and how she wished she was already back home made me realize that you can take the girl from the bay, but you can’t take the bay from the girl…
Lame story short, I bought a bluedouche ear piece for a doucheberry phone because it is the newest one they had so “it pretty much has to be the best”.
Bluetooth was a dead technology and brought back to life. Douchebags around the world rejoice.
Bluedouche
